I remembered a conversation with a co-worker about 3 years ago at my night shift job – she’s not working there anymore and I remembered her for this little chat we had in the cafeteria during one of our breaktimes at work. She asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said no. Then she asked another question about when I’m going to plan in getting a girlfriend or be in a relationship and I answered her that probably I’m going to look for one after I finish my studies. This good friend of mine suddenly told me right away, “Don’t look for a girlfriend! Enjoy being single first! It’s gonna be hard once you get into a relationship.”
I couldn’t agree more with her.
Observing and listening to lovers have brought my mind into considering that having a romantic relationship is a huge thing to carry in life. One of the biggest reasons is that most people earn it a lot more through passion and love and not much through anything constructive like family or commitment or responsibility – people promise a perfect relationship with their lovers in order to win their love and culminate their relationships but the sad part of that is that they have to live up to those things even if they aren’t really that realistic.
Yet I do believe that anything is possible if you are willing. I guess we shouldn’t go too far with our visions.
The very natural process of life seems to call upon the need to persevere and we have to put in mind these 4 things not just in our everyday lives but also if ever we are considering or when we are in a romantic relationship: Uncertainty, Possibilities, Diversity and Transcience. It would be hard if we fail to embrace these four things – and it should have for a lot of people who ‘fear’ these and who are a lot more willing to be in an ‘ideal’ world of romance where there are no problems and where both lovers stay handsome and pretty.
I believe we have to embrace uncertainties, possibilities, diversities and changes that if ever they do bring problems, solving the problems with utmost thinking is something that we have to prioritize and not solving it just based on an idea that any imperfections will destroy everything.
Sometimes it’s not all about considering one crack from a pillar that can make a building collapse.
This is a practice that I’m doing as a member of a community, as a family member and as a single person who feels a good sense of attachment with the people whom I have known in my entire life. This way, I can appreciate anything and anyone and be able to become active in exchanging thoughts and probably ending up with a relationship that is a lot more realistic than ideal – where looks do matter but a lot more than that should be the way both lovers look at each other through various types of communication and interactions.
What I really detest right now are people who are not willing to find the balance between passion, rationale and to others, spirituality. People either give up and tell themselves how evil they are, or become too aggressive with their idealism that it leads them towards being prejudicial – this happens particularly to the highly idealistic and the highly moralistic people.
To me, the fun of being single is all about finding the balance between the two sides of life through being considerate and not being too idealistic and that pursuit is something that I’m still struggling to find, if not, I might only have achieved just a pinch of it. I definitely believe that I can find some good relationships if I do commit on these ideas.
And I’m glad to share them with all of you passing by my blog.