I would like to take this opportunity to greet everyone a Happy Mother’s Day!
I celebrated it with my mother who is currently recovering from an injury.
I thought I want to share this because it’s kinda funny. I read a magazine called “Psychology Today” (I have the link on my “Sites of Interest”) and I found an article [link] about Italian adult men living with their mothers – they are called “mammismo”. The article says that a large percentage of men who are sons do have an exaggerated strong bonding with their mothers. This means that there are a lot of mamma’s boys in Italy.
Although they would be able to have their backs covered and be able to face lesser economic difficulties, this “Figli per sempre” setting is somewhat impeding the autonomy of men which can be a pathological issue.
I thought to myself that reading all about this on Mother’s Day made me reflect a lot about my role as a son. I have been living with my parents for 24 years. I do think that I have a strong bonding with my mother. I care for her a lot and it pains me so much to see her suffer. Of course, her recent accident made me reflecting about my role in the family.
Unfortunately – for them – I definitely don’t want to force myself to keep myself in the house forever. I have to learn being autonomous. As time passes by, I realize that if I stay with my family, I will stay forever as a bum – I will just stay here at home playing video games and surfing the net not being productive enough to be able to help my family… Worst of all, I might not be able to find a family of my own. If only my parents knew, I am quite desperate to have someone else to love me aside from my immediate family.
But where do my parents – especially my mother – fit in these things? How would they understand me?
I always thought that parents are always there for me if ever I need their help/their assistance. That if I get into trouble, I know that they have enough experience to be able to help me. I want them to be among all the people who I talk with and spend quality time with learning about life, acquiring insightful knowledge, and getting the right resources and know-hows with regards to solving all my problems and my issues.
But I really thought that their authority over me should just be over with and that they should just push me towards moving on with life, getting a new job, earning more money, having a romantic relationship, and being able to do things on my own on a very large scale.
I was able to finish a leadership and effective communication course, I wanted to deal with teaching and learning a.k.a. pedagogy after two years of taking linguistics as my major in university, I start to experience things by myself, I become a lot more reflective, I become a lot more caring about all the things around me whether my parents agreed with me or not.
I want to take my risks in life. I want to fix my own problems. I want to be alone and build up that confidence that I need in order to live better. If I fail, I will keep on trying because I know pretty well that my parents have done it for themselves as well; That my parents were able to bring all of us in another country leaving behind their loved ones – their homes – not being stopped by anyone.
I definitely wanted to be independent literally to be able to know myself even better. I wanted it because I want to take the lead and be able to show to my parents how much they have contributed in order to make me into a mature, well-educated and values-oriented individual which they would want me to become anyhow.
But here’s one thing that I think would matter most for all of us. It’s that we have to keep the love alive. I love my family – my mother, my father, and my younger brother. Leaving them behind doesn’t mean being cold towards them. Through their company, I turned into what I am today and I am very happy of it. If I stop loving them, then I won’t grow. If I don’t choose to understand them or to interact with them or to discuss and debate with them a lot of things, it’s as if we don’t know each other. There is a saying that “Acquaintances agree, friends argue.” The thing is that this is between my family and I and my family deserves to see all the truths about myself.
Second of all is that we have to always show gratitude. I thank my family all the time for being there for me in all of my trials and my challenges in life.
And I do thank my mother for always showing us so much care in our lives.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!